This Is What Narcissism Looks Like
The Breakup
Mon, 10/29/18
K****
06:27 AM: I “stole” your pants from the hamper. They fit me. They weren’t on top the blue ones. Also I’m off on Thursday this week
06:31 AM: I meant to grab mine, grabbed yours on accident. Decided to try them on and went “huh. Okay, I’ll try it”
Rastal
07:00 AM: Aww man I was going to wash all those before work. 😕 I guess I can just do one load today though and do another one later.
07:01 AM: And cool, let’s def do something Thursday. Though I want to get some things done Thursday morning first. But then I want to just spend the day with you and only you. 😚
08:16 AM: Dude. Would you mind not collapse the hamper with a pile of clothes? That’s insanely frustrating to deal with.
08:16 AM: *not collapsing
Something snapped inside me, and I punched a wall, which made me realize that I’d been a lot angrier with K****—and for a lot longer—than I’d been letting myself acknowledge. I wrote the following list all of the problems I’d had with our relationship up to this point (edited for gender neutrality):
- “I felt like i was being attacked so that’s why I got shitty.” When I’m trying to talk about a recurring issue.
- Getting very emotional in a way that seems unrelated to the discussion or how I’m talking about things, to the point where I’m needing to reassure [them] and apologize for things that I didn’t really do, to the point of dropping the issue altogether.
- All those red flags of how [they’ve] been manipulative in every other relationship in [their] life, “but you’re the only one I haven’t been able to to that with.”
- Getting anxious / shut down / suicidal any time something difficult gets brought up.
- Saying [they’ll] keep the apartment clean like I ask but then reverting in a few days or a couple of weeks and insisting that “[they’re] really trying”
- Not helping at all with the daily cleaning of dishes or the litter box. Barely ever feeding the cats.
- Literally always having a new excuse as to why [they’re] being so exhausted or shitty every time we have a couple of good weeks (off meds, stressed from school, stressed from work, perioding, lonely)
- “jokingly” saying (constantly) “don’t be mean to me, I’m SENSITIVE!” and things like that
- [they’ll] just go with my opinion on things without opinions of [their] own (in order to keep me?)
- I feel like I’m holding [them] together through shear force of will
- [They] reassures me [they’re] fine with something but then when it comes up in reality [they] changes [their] mind
- [They] reassures me [they’re] not taking advantage of me, but [they] either doesn’t change or superficially changes [their] behavior
- Decided [they] was down for long term shit when I was sobbing and vulnerable in [their] lap; in general I’ve felt like [they’ve] been the happiest when I’m vulnerable as hell and [they] has to take care of me or save me or fix me
- I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be mad at [them]
K****
12:49 PM: Im sorry. I’ll try to be better next time.
12:49 PM: I love you
12:49 PM: Are you okay of r***** comes over for productive time today?
Rastal
12:51 PM: Oh I thought we were taking Vesper to the vet today
K****
01:00 PM: Cant. Got her appointment tomorrow at 2
01:00 PM: They were booked today
01:05 PM: Are u ok
01:43 PM: I feel like it’s me. If it was the hamper then I am sorry. I am trying to get better about house things and I wont do it again. I thought we were okay last night
Rastal
01:48 PM: I said I don’t want to talk about it
K****
01:49 PM: Okay.
01:54 PM: Well I cancelled hang out with R*****. I love you.
Rastal
01:54 PM: Why did you cancel?
K****
01:55 PM: Because I’m anxious and I dont wanna be around people if I’m anxious
01:55 PM: I’m hanging out with her and m** tomorrow anyway
Rastal
01:55 PM: K
K****
01:56 PM: Love you
01:47 PM: I’m upset you messaged R***** that you were upset and not me. I’m upset that I cant get reassurance that it’s not my fault. And I’m upset you wont tell me you love me back.
You dont have to talk about it. It’s fine. I’m going to go out of the house before you get home. I might go hang somewhere idk.
This is not me telling or pressuring you to tell me anything, I just need to know how that made me feel. I love you and I’ll see/talk to you later.
Rastal
02:56 PM: So you canceled because you are too anxious to be around people but now you’re going out to be around people?
K****
03:00 PM: By myself. In a park. Or something. Idk. I dont know. I’m very upset.
03:01 PM: Or maybe just hide in blanket town. Idk. If you’re going to be angry when u come home then I dont want to be here
Rastal
03:01 PM: I’m not planning on coming home for a while, for what it’s worth
K****
03:03 PM: So then I’m just going to assume it’s me. And suffer with not knowing what I did for you to be happy with me to not wanting to talk to me within a morning. I’ll drug myself to sleep again after my essay so you dont have to bother with me
04:05 PM: I love you.
04:57 PM:
05:32 PM: I would like you to come home. We dont have to talk. I just want to be with you. It’s okay if you cant though.
06:00 PM: Are you just going to ignore me now?
07:27 PM: I know you dont want to talk. And that’s fine. But I said I love you and you ignored me. That hurt.
07:38 PM: But I’m here. And I’m going to leave u alone starting now
I ran the financial numbers and realized that I could not only afford rent by myself, but that I’d actually have more money left over if I paid for rent myself and stopped paying for any of K****’s bills than if I kept joint income and expenses with them. I also realized that, even with a major promotion (which they were hoping for), K**** wouldn’t be able to cover half of the rent and all their own expenses.
Tue, 10/30/18
Rastal
07:21 AM: Hey I’m down for talking today after you hang with M** and R*****. I want to talk in person though.
K****
09:04 AM: Why can’t you just tell me anything? My anxiety is through the roof. I cried all night. I’m crying at work. I dont understand
09:05 AM: I know you’re going through something. And I feel terrible that I’m reacting so strongly. But I just need reassurance. And yesterday was terrible
09:08 AM: I love you so much. And this hurts me alot.
09:11 AM: So do you not love me anymore? Is that what’s happening?
09:11 AM: I just feel so crazy
10:38 AM: Not even a little reassurance? Like I feel like ur breaking up with ne
10:48 AM: Knock knock.
Who’s there.
Poop.
Poop who?
Poop you too
11:09 AM: I love you despite my poop j ok ke
11:50 AM: I have a feeling its housework? I’m sorry I’ve been no good. I realized how bad I’ve been yesterday which is why I picked up my area and started the laundry and rinsed my dishes this morning. I can start doing the cat stuff in the evening and that way were splitting it.
11:51 AM: I do love you and I’m sorry th as t I’ve caused all this stress. and I’m sorry my anxiety fucking exploded. R***** and I might stop by for coffee before vespers vet appt. I wont bother you and if you dont want me to visit that’s okay too
Rastal
01:03 PM: I’d rather y’all didn’t come by
K****
01:06 PM: Ok
02:51 PM: Shes got herpes
03:04 PM:
03:04 PM: And chronic something. No asthma. Turns out that’s her herpes making something else do something. But we have medicine that should clear it up
03:09 PM:
03:09 PM: Also lafourche parish has vespers chip as belonging to a male cat?
03:16 PM: Are you pregnant? I’ll still love you
03:25 PM: You’re monogomous. I knew it
Rastal
05:39 PM: Is there anyone at our apartment right now?
K****
05:41 PM: R***** but shes leaving soon
05:45 PM: Shes gone.
05:46 PM: Are you coming home. Can we talk now
I came home and told them that I didn’t feel like we were partners any more, and that I hadn’t felt that in a while. I told them that I didn’t want to be with them, didn’t want to share finances with them or pay for any of their bills, and didn’t want to live with them any more.
K****
06:54 PM: So. Are we just gunna keep sleeping together until I move out
06:54 PM: And okay
Rastal
06:54 PM: I think I’d be okay with that, but I understand if you’d rather not
K****
06:55 PM: I dont want to tonight
Rastal
06:55 PM: That’s okay
06:55 PM: I’m legit fine with sleeping on the floor tonight
K****
06:55 PM: Okay
Rastal
06:56 PM: I don’t want to be on the floor every night though.
K****
06:57 PM: I know. I just cant share with u tonight
Rastal
06:57 PM: I get that
06:57 PM: Want me to bring the stuffed animals back over here?
06:57 PM: Or is Meg enough?
K****
06:58 PM: No
Rastal
06:58 PM: K
K****
06:58 PM: I’m just going to start packing them tomorrow
06:58 PM: I’m looking at leaving before december
Rastal
06:58 PM: Yeah I was going to say I was fine with you staying until the end of November if you needed
K****
06:59 PM: If you needed me to cover more Bill’s and rent why not tell me? Why let me work 20 weeks.
Rastal
06:59 PM: That’s not the point
K****
06:59 PM: I would’ve worked more
06:59 PM: I would’ve pick up shifts.
07:00 PM: This feels like such a deep betrayal. And I’m genuinely hurt by it
07:00 PM: I was looking forward to thursday
Rastal
07:00 PM: Same. And same.
K****
07:00 PM: I had no idea you didnt love me anymore. Or that I was a terrible partnee
07:02 PM: U feel betrayed
Rastal
07:02 PM: Yes
K****
07:02 PM: By me
Rastal
07:02 PM: Yes.
K****
07:02 PM: What did I do
Rastal
07:03 PM: I literally just told you when we were sitting up and I was talking to you
K****
07:04 PM: I love you. I want to support you. I thought we were family and that we were good.
07:04 PM: I find this also hard knowing u had sex with R***** two days ago
07:04 PM: Then to tell me ik m not being replaced then breaking up with me
Rastal
07:05 PM: I know. But R***** has nothing to do with it.
K****
07:05 PM: Like that’s fuckung garbage
07:06 PM: I told everyone all day you were going to break up with me and R***** said no. Not if it’s what I think it’s about. It’s not that bad.
Rastal
07:07 PM: I didn’t talk with R***** at all about this before talking with you.
K****
07:07 PM: But you texted her last night when you couldn’t talk to me.
Rastal
07:08 PM: Um, but not about any of this. I told her I’d only chat about superficial stuff.
K****
07:09 PM: When I asked if you wanted help u always said no I didn’t ned to
07:10 PM: I thought I changed ur life. I thought I made u happy
07:10 PM: I thought we were family
07:11 PM: Like. We weren’t falling apart
Rastal
07:11 PM: I was. I just kept denying it.
K****
07:11 PM: We were happy
07:16 PM: Great
07:20 PM: Should’ve just stayed broken up
07:21 PM: I do really love you. And that’s why I’m so hurt. I’m sorry i couldn’t be better for you.
07:22 PM: I’m sorry I pushed ur boundaries too much.
07:38 PM: But I’m still angry at all of this. I just want you to know that.
Rastal
07:38 PM: I know
07:47 PM: I’m going to be meeting up with R***** to talk this over later tonight, just so you know. But I’ll be back.
K****
07:48 PM: Okay
07:48 PM: You dont really have to tell me anything anymore do you
Rastal
07:48 PM: ?
07:48 PM: What do you mean
K****
07:49 PM: Like. U do t have to communicate with me. Whys it matter
07:49 PM: Nothing matters about this antmore
Rastal
07:49 PM: Because we still live together and affect each others lives
K****
07:50 PM: Ok
07:51 PM: It’s just like. We break up and your going see r*****
07:51 PM: Like.
Rastal
07:52 PM: R***** and me need to work through some stuff too
K****
07:52 PM: I’m just. It’s very hard for me not to connect it.
07:52 PM: Cool. Same night
07:52 PM: Gunna break up with her too?
08:22 PM: This is awkward, but would you go with me to get my new ID with my legal name or should I just bring someone else
Rastal
08:23 PM: I can help with that. I want to go to shoreline anyway to get my new social security card.
K****
08:24 PM: Can u help.me get that too? I want to be officially K**** when I go home. I’ll have t ol work on pronouns lter
Rastal
08:24 PM: Yes but you might have to wait for your new license to come in before doing the social security stuff
K****
08:25 PM: Ok
Rastal
08:25 PM: And just a warning, Louisiana might be trickier when it comes to pronouns. Social security just needs a letter from your doctor though
K****
08:25 PM: I’m sorry I said mean things.
Rastal
08:25 PM: I know
K****
08:25 PM: I want to be friends.
08:25 PM: I’m just really hurt right now.
Rastal
08:25 PM: I know you’re hurt
K****
08:26 PM: I’m trying not to send everything I think
08:26 PM: Well I’m going to start testosterone here so I’ll get a letter then
I left at this point to go talk with R*****.
K****
09:28 PM: Also. You were giving me sticky notes about how well I was doing. How was I supposed to know I was doing bad?!?
09:35 PM: Also. My checks are less because I’m covering our insurances.
09:35 PM: Also I was actually doing house stuff before the hamper and litter genie were hidden away
09:37 PM: Me be ik ng a bad partner is not all my fault. I should’ve communicated that those things being tucked away made it harder but I just didnt want to stress you out
09:38 PM: But you could’ve communicated that you were losing patience with me. Instead I was told as long as theres nothing ik n the walk way and take my time with everything else
09:38 PM: And I got to the black box. And I got to my random shit. And I organized it
09:38 PM: If I knew I wasn’t pulling my weight financially then I would have worked more
09:39 PM: I would’ve have earned it but I was under the pretense that we were fine
09:39 PM: You never sat down with me about money again.
09:40 PM: I thought I was being supportive and when told j wasn’t fixed it. You said I was great support.
09:41 PM: Yes. I spammed you because I’m anxious. And I knew I was getting crazy but your lack of communication scared the shit out of me
09:41 PM: Rightfully so
09:42 PM: I’ve trying to pay more at dinner dates. I’ve been trying!
09:44 PM: I’ve tried to be supportive of you. And one of the last sticky notes I have says I was
09:45 PM: So. This is why I dont understand. I’m hurt. Betrayed. I literally just feel like none of this is real is how fucking shook I am.
09:46 PM: And you’ve been so into okcupid and R*****, like. Not that you got someone else why dk you even need me?
09:48 PM: If you didnt feel like it was a partnership why not talk t ok me. This is fixable. I can clean, with the hamper and genie out. I can do money stuff if you sit down and show me and do it with me
09:51 PM: I want to be with you. I love you so much. I dont even know what to do to even prove anything to you. That we can be family and work out. And now I dont know if I want to because you’ve been so mean today and yesterrday
09:51 PM: Like. Were family. We got our name changes together
09:52 PM: I’ve only wanted you to be happy
09:53 PM: I ges I should let you be happy without me. I just. I want to be happy with you and you with me. We were gunna spend our lives together
09:54 PM: I’m gunna go to sleep. I dont want to bother you more. Stat safe coming home. I love you
09:55 PM: Also I parked the car. And did a good parallel parking job. Cuz I drove vesper to the vet.
09:55 PM: So I want a sticky note for that.
10:04 PM: I’m hurt
10:05 PM: 
10:05 PM: I feel like I’m making you hate me more. I don’t know what ik m doing
Wed, 10/31/18
Rastal
08:21 AM: Just a heads up: the amount in your USAA account is wrong at the moment because I did bad math. I’ll be transferring $395 back to the discover account once it lets me.
K****
10:07 AM: Okay.
10:09 AM: I feel like you just dont even care about me at all anymore. This is so abrupt and cold.
10:14 AM: Like. Why are you acting this way?
10:20 AM: Like. First off I had no idea I wasn’t contributing money wise nearly as much. Second off you tell me j cant cover my own Bill’s and then kick me out. Like
10:20 AM: I could’ve picked up more shifts. I’m trying to be a shift. You never told me I wasn’t able to cover my own shit
10:22 AM: And your ignoring me and that’s rude. Because we were supposed to have a commitment ceremony in exactly a year. And I love you and your family. I dont understand
10:22 AM: We were supposed to spend our lives together
10:23 AM: And now you wont even re respond to me
10:24 AM: And t ok hang put with your friends with benefits the night of our break up was terrible timing and insensitive.
10:24 AM: I dont even know who you are right now.
I pointed out that when he broke up with A**** while dating me, he slept in the bed with me that night, to which he responded, “Yeah, and that was rude.”
K****
01:56 PM: It honestly feels like you died.
Thu, 11/01/18
Rastal
02:53 AM: I took myself off the car insurance policy and updated the contact info for it, so email updates should be going to you instead now. Also your rate is $139/mo now that I’m not on it.
02:54 AM: The new username is k**********, and the new password is **************
K****
05:09 AM: You dont want to be friends either? I’m trying to figure out how to treat this situation
Rastal
02:57 PM: Dude there’s a lot of people here. Might be a bit of a wait.
K****
02:58 PM: Ok
02:59 PM: I’m gunna poop
Rastal
02:59 PM: HELL yeah
K****
03:00 PM: It’s a rabbit. Adoption fee is only 10
Rastal
03:00 PM: Your poop is?
K****
03:00 PM:
Rastal
03:00 PM: Oh
K****
03:00 PM: #ded
03:00 PM: 
Rastal
03:01 PM: Omfg
03:01 PM: For B*****’s house?
K****
03:02 PM: This is what I want to send you. Like cute shit. Is that okay?
Rastal
03:02 PM: I mean, it would get old to me if it was a constant stream
03:02 PM: So just don’t expect me to respond
K****
03:03 PM: 
Rastal
03:03 PM: Yeah like this is already getting overwhelming to me honestly
K****
03:03 PM: Ok. Also. I’m using the **** bathroom
Rastal
03:03 PM: WHOA
K****
03:04 PM: First time.
Rastal
03:04 PM: Congrats!
K****
03:07 PM: Thanks 😊
03:31 PM: Where is building u r in
Rastal
03:32 PM: It’s further up the road. Google had sent us to the wrong spot
K****
03:32 PM: Ohhh
Rastal
03:32 PM: 
K****
03:32 PM: Well. ThAt sucks
Rastal
03:32 PM: I agree
03:33 PM: Dude it’s taking for fucking ever. This one dude has been complaining loudly to the officer that they should call his mom to get her to send him his money
03:34 PM: This feels like the downtown dol
K****
03:34 PM: I’ll be
There soon
Rastal
03:34 PM: K
K****
03:35 PM: Jeez
Rastal
03:41 PM: Fuck dude should have brought my iPad for reading shit
K****
05:56 PM: Should I pre buy redbulls?
Rastal
06:00 PM: Maybe?
Fri, 11/02/18
I did a Google search about what it felt like to be in a relationship with a narcissist. The first two articles I found listed every complaint I’d ever had about my relationship with K****, almost word for word at points, and didn’t leave a single complaint out. The nearly universal recommendation was to cut contact completely; when that wasn’t possible, many suggested trying to appease the narcissist as best as you could, to tell them what they wanted to hear.
K****
06:05 AM: Ajas music is fucking killer. Js.
11:15 AM: I realize that I don’t want to see you with R*****. Like I know your friends. But it’s really hard to know your coming here for someone else so soon.
11:15 AM: I’ll just use the card so I dknt have to see you here
Rastal
11:16 AM: Okay sorry about that.
11:16 AM: I’ll see you later tonight though
K****
11:17 AM: Okay. I’m staying late today. So I’ll see you when I see you
Rastal
11:28 AM: I do appreciate you being so understanding about all this in general though
K****
11:29 AM: I’m trying. It’s just still really hard.
Rastal
11:30 AM: I know. And I’m legit sorry
K****
11:30 AM: Misdial
11:32 AM: I dont want to hear anything about y’alls hangout today tonight okay? I’ve been crying just at the though of yall.
Rastal
11:32 AM: I know I’m trying not to talk about her any more with you.
K****
11:33 AM: Thank you.
11:34 AM: I’m hiding in the back. But if you get here after 1140, can you not be inside or on the patio? I know that’s alot to ask but I dont wanna break down at work more so than usual
Rastal
11:35 AM: Oh don’t worry I’m not coming by m** ****
11:35 AM: Did want you to see me there
K****
11:35 AM: We gotta do insurance stuff tonight! I forgot!
11:35 AM: No. I thought you were coming get her and that’s what made me break down
Rastal
11:35 AM: Also I can wait to come home after you sleep if you want. So you don’t have to deal with me coming home
K****
11:36 AM: It’s not you alone. It’s you wanting to be with other people and not me it hurts.
Rastal
11:37 AM: Oh I thought you wouldn’t to deal with me after me having the day today with R*****
11:38 AM: Figured that’d be hard for you
K****
11:38 AM: As long as you dont talk about it. But yeah. I guess so. Idk
Rastal
11:38 AM: K. Just let me know when you go to bed. And yeah I def won’t talk about it.
K****
11:38 AM: I dont want to see yall together. Or hear about it. And it sounds so mean, but I cant handle it
Rastal
11:39 AM: I know, but it’s legit okay
11:40 AM: Hey also this might be bad timing, and I know this seems wishy washy, but I think I do really want to keep dead of winter and Monsterhearts
11:40 AM: I’ve been so stressed and emotional it’s beeb hard to know what I want sometimes.
K****
11:41 AM: Bad timing. But okay.
11:44 AM: Just send me the pdf. And if you ever try to get rid of them I want first dibs
Rastal
11:44 AM: For sure!
K****
03:53 PM: Just I ges dont talk about it.
03:53 PM: I was so emotional I forgot today is your birthday. Also. You can come home before I go to bed. I’ll be high so it wont be so bad.
03:53 PM: Also. Happy birthday
Rastal
05:55 PM: Okay and that’s understandable. Thanks for the birthday wishes!
Sat, 11/03/18
K****
12:05 PM: Bring home newspaper if voxx has any old ones!
Rastal
12:22 PM: Bleh we don’t sell newspaper
12:23 PM: Or carry it
K****
12:23 PM: Bleh
12:37 PM: When u go grocery shopping could you buy rice crispies I can make rice crispy treats cuz I’ll never use all those marshmallows. XD
12:37 PM: I’ll pay you back
Rastal
12:53 PM: They don’t have rice crispies at Hamlin?
K****
12:54 PM: Oh yeahhhhhh
12:54 PM: I’ll pick some up. XD
02:27 PM: 
Sun, 11/04/18
Rastal
01:51 PM: Yo just a heads up, I’m coming home already. I’m like 90% sure I’m coming down with a cold
K****
01:52 PM: Oh no. Okay.
05:57 PM: I hope I’m not coming off as to momish. I like to be taken care of when I’m sick so I want to keep care of others. If I’m coming off to strong or too gross please tell me. I dont want to make you feel uncomfertable
05:58 PM: Also bring a blanket and iPad in here. The humidity would be good for your face. I’ll leave if you need to chill in here alone
Rastal
06:01 PM: I’m just going to stay curled up in bed
06:01 PM: I don’t want to move honestly
K****
06:04 PM: Okay. I can make more tea if you think that’ll help. Or fill up your water
Mon, 11/05/18
K****
10:31 AM: I forgot my fucking testosterone at home. I have to go all the way home grab it and then run all the way back. Ugh
Rastal
10:40 AM: Dood that sucks
K****
06:17 PM: Are u ok?
Rastal
06:18 PM: Yes. Why?
K****
06:21 PM: I thought you came home and left. Just wanted to make sure your not camping with a cold. I’ll sleep in my car or the bathroom instead
Rastal
06:21 PM: You’re good. I’ll just probably be out for a bit
K****
06:22 PM: Okay. I tried to hide in the bathroom to help avoid the dynamic. I’ll leave you alone now. See ya later
Rastal
06:22 PM: K.
K****
07:51 PM: I did my testosterone today.
07:51 PM: And I leave on the 13th
Rastal
08:28 PM: I’m not mad at you. It’s just later than it was when we talked last, and this is harder than I expected it to be.
08:28 PM: I know you’re trying.
Tue, 11/06/18
K****
07:56 AM: Buy a new plastic shower curtain so I can start drying or and going through the shower stuff please. I’ll be leaving a in week so you have some time.
Rastal
07:56 AM: Do you get tips today?
07:57 AM: Or did the usaa funds go through yet?
K****
07:58 AM: Maybe. With all the callouts lately idk
Rastal
01:55 PM: I’ma be out for a while again today and probably tomorrow too, btw
Wed 11/07/18
Rastal
05:36 PM: Hey I’m stopping home first because I forgot my bus pass 😕
K****
05:53 PM: Okay.
Rastal
06:38 PM: Hey I’m picking up electrical tape for myself. Do you want to just use some of that, or do you still want me to pick up some duct tape for you?
K****
07:20 PM: I have some
Thu 11/08/18
K****
12:12 PM: Yo. My car is fucking not working. I need a new battery probably.
Rastal
12:12 PM: Whoa
12:13 PM: That’s intense
K****
12:13 PM: So. Fuck me
10:31 PM: Are you coming back tonight or can I relax
Rastal
11:06 PM: ? I mean, yes I’m coming back tonight.
11:06 PM: The game ran late.
K****
11:08 PM: I didnt know.
Fri 11/09/18
K****
09:01 AM: I want to hang out. But I dont. I want to spend some time with you because I feel like well never talk again. I’m really confused about everything and I miss your friendship at this point
Rastal
11:06 AM: I know. 😢 I’ll be home for a bit today to nap. We might have time to hang after that if you want. Watch some try guys or something.
K****
11:32 AM: Okay. I’d like to talk about my plans with you. But it’s okay if I cant
11:38 AM: We can rude back together? I can meet you or spmething
11:38 AM: I’m off
11:38 AM: I’m just grabbing tea for my throat
Rastal
11:48 AM: Nah I’m doing a couple of things downtown before I come home. I’ll probably be back by 1 or 130ish though
K****
11:52 AM: Okay.
12:41 PM: 
Rastal
12:58 PM: Cute! Also I’m on my way home.
K****
01:02 PM: Hey. Can u buy a soup
Rastal
01:02 PM: I bought lots o soups.
K****
01:02 PM: Oh. Can I have one?
01:03 PM: Cuz I shared my soups with you and now I’m sick
Rastal
01:05 PM: Yes you can have one.
K****
01:05 PM: Thx
01:05 PM: I’ll share my pizza with you
Rastal
01:05 PM: I don’t want any pizza
01:05 PM: Thanks though
01:06 PM: Also you still need to pay me back $25 for the metro and Lyft money from the joint account .
K****
01:06 PM: Ok
Sat 11/10/18
K****
01:38 AM: Stay safe
09:40 AM: At the udistrict petco
10:06 AM: 
Sun 11/11/18
K****
03:41 PM: Are you coming back tonight? Because if not I’m gunna invite c*** over. His boyfriend broke up with him. But I don’t want to offer if you’re coming home
Rastal
04:38 PM: I was planning on staying in E******* tonight but if he needs a place to stay or something for the night I can not sleep there tonight.
04:39 PM: I’d just need to stop by to pick some stuff up.
K****
04:40 PM: I mean I dont want to kick you out of your house
Rastal
04:43 PM: I’d personally rather stay in E******* so I can sleep in tomorrow. I’m just saying if he really needs a place for the night then I can do something about it.
K****
04:50 PM: Were gunna hang out tomorrow. I think hes good tonight.
Rastal
05:01 PM: Okay. yeah I’ll be back tonight then.
K****
05:32 PM: Know an eta?
Rastal
05:38 PM: 9p? Not 100% sure
K****
05:42 PM: Maybe it would be best to sleep somewhere else if you could
05:42 PM: I’m sorry
Rastal
05:42 PM: Why?
K****
05:46 PM: Just think it would be easier
Rastal
05:48 PM: I mean, then you should go somewhere else tonight.
05:48 PM: I’m sleeping at E******* if that’s your only reason
K****
05:48 PM: Fine
Mon 11/12/18
Rastal
05:51 PM: Are you staying at E******* tonight? Just curious; stopped by and didn’t see you.
K****
06:06 PM: Cb2 is officially open in university village
06:07 PM: I dont know if I’m staying. But I probably wont.
Rastal
06:07 PM: Yeah I had seen that.
06:07 PM: Okay
K****
06:09 PM: I probably wont see you again before I leave
Rastal
06:09 PM: Oh so like that was it?
K****
06:09 PM: Idk. Probably.
06:10 PM: I pick up my aunt tonight. Go to work. Pick up my cat and leave
Rastal
06:10 PM: Damn. You leaving g**** for the night?
06:10 PM: Okay
K****
06:10 PM: I have to. Pets not allowed at the hotel
Rastal
06:11 PM: K just wondering
K****
06:12 PM: I felt lie you’d been distancing yourself so much from me. And I e been feeling so hurt and betrayed lately. I just didnt know what to say when you were at the door
Rastal
06:12 PM: Yeah.
06:12 PM: I def get that
K****
06:15 PM: We used to tell each other everything. and I still find myself trying to do that. And everyone back home is telling me all this stuff and I dont want to believe it.
06:15 PM: I just. I wish none of this ever happened. And we were happy. And I’m tired of having nightmares and panic attacks every night
06:15 PM: And jasmine needs to go to a vet
06:15 PM: She needs meds
Rastal
06:16 PM: People back home don’t know the situation because they’re not a part of it, but they can believe whatever they want to believe
06:16 PM: And yes I know
K****
06:21 PM: Do you want me to stay here tonight?
Rastal
06:22 PM: It genuinely doesn’t matter to me either way. I just wasn’t sure how far your aunt’s hotel was from your work.
K****
06:23 PM: I dont know yet.
Tue 11/13/18
K****
08:19 AM: Rastal,
I’ll miss you. Today’s the last day I’m gunna talk to you for awhile. I already miss my store. And my friends. And learning what I like to do by myself here. I learned alot from you, from us, and from our journey.
I hope you get happier. I hope you finish your book. And I’m always willing to be your reader if you need one. I care for you and maybe I’ll see you around.
❤️k****
Rastal
10:31 AM: Oh wow you left already? Yeah we had some times. Sorry they weren’t better
10:32 AM: Oh shit you remembered to leave your apartment keys, right?
K****
10:33 AM: I didnt leave yet. I’m going to the apt soon to get the rest of my stuff. And my cat. I just wanted to say goodbye while the words were there
Rastal
10:58 AM: Gotcha yeah that makes sense
K****
12:37 PM: Hey. I think my aunt stole your last roll of toilet paper. Just a heads up. Keys are on the counter.
Rastal
12:41 PM: I have more in the closet. Thanks though
12:44 PM: Have a safe trip back to T********
K****
12:44 PM: Okay. Bye for now❤️
12:45 PM: Thanks. I hope for a happy detox for both of us. And I’ll see you around.
05:19 PM: I’m also sorry I left more shit than in wanted. I’ll be back for my plants when I move back up. And I’m sorry for the work you have to do fo throw all that stuff out. I didnt mean to hurt you. And now that I’m not driving I wanted to let you know
And then I blocked their number.
